THE BYE BYE BOX
Today I put my favorite heels in the “bye-bye box” for
charity donation.
This is the graveyard for all the items that once were
amazing, but no longer are functional for my life.
For years I have held onto these brilliant red heels. I had
believed if they could just streeeetch out juuuust a smidge, they would be the
best accessory for almost any outfit.
It almost seemed like they had magical powers. These would be the shoes that my future
husband would meet me in, these would
be the shoes I accepted my next award in, these
would be the shoes that had their own theme song when I entered a room, etc.
But, now (sigh…) the peek-a-boo toe that once showcased my
glossy and well maintained nails had become a sneak peak of shameful ashy
hooves that were undeserving of such a heel.
Never should an engorged purple toe be on display.
These were the
shoes that would want to walk away from my feet.
Yet, still I held on to the hope that my feet would shrink
in winter.
If this happened I declared, my peek-a-boo toe would have to
suffer the cold.
But, reality hit.
Never should a blue, frost bitten toe be on display, either.
I realized I have held onto them for too long. All they do
is take up space (along with many other pairs of “life changing” items) in my
closet.
As I headed toward the “bye-bye box’, I was afraid I would
hit another dreaded milestone in my descending spiral from youth.
Sarcastically, I thought of tossing any panties that I had ever dreamed of
anyone else seeing besides my daughter or my OBGYN.
I thought, “Screw it. Might as well toss in my
moisturizer, hair color, toothbrush- all of it.” But, to my surprise, I realized
I actually felt a burden lifted as I tossed those red heels in.
Then, I begin wondering what ELSE I needed to say “bye-bye”
to.
Before too long, the box was full.
Next to the red heels were the neon yoga pants, the two-tone
turtle neck, the leg warmers (current season or vintage- couldn’t tell). Then,
I moved to the hall closet. Good bye Mario brothers hand held game, Aunt
Maggie’s yearly Christmas gift of assorted itchy wool scarves, that old VHS
player (just “in case”)… Then I got enthusiastic. Hands like a windmill tossing
items- “peace out last seasons white
pleather jacket, see ya later to my daughters ziplock bag of hair from her
first cut, my exes letters and dried flowers, my sons first cast…..Wait what?
Damn. This just got real serious. What am I”????
I was like a memory hoarder!
The more I tossed the cleaner and lighter I felt.
Whew. When I finished, it was six hours and a few glasses of
wine later. BAM. DONE. FREEEEEEE!
Amazing how one dreaded decision of getting rid of something
I “couldn’t live without” was so liberating! I was still fabulous and I would
find a new pair of red amazing life changing heels. I would actually be able to
wear.
The moral of the story is that I held on to a whole bunch of
items that reminded me of what I wasn’t, that took up too much space and
basically were useless. It was the fear of letting them go that was scary. That
in some small way I would lose a part of myself in the process. But, it was the
exact opposite.
Now…
If only there were a “bye-bye box” for people.
J Missy
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