HOW HOARDING HURTS

Letting go of things can be one of the hardest obstacles in life for some.

Too many of us hold on to things we shouldn’t; from last year’s coupons to people.  When a group of hoarders were asked WHY they hold on to their colossal clutter, the common response was “they needed it or may need it”. But, studies have shown the reasons are far deeper. “Hoarder’s” behavior is a psychological response to something they have lost; a person, a dream, control of an area of their life.

The fact is it is hard to let go of anything you have held on to for a significant amount of time.

Clutter can become comfortable. So can EMOTIONAL clutter.

There was a time when I had become a collector of emotional baggage and toxic thinking.

I had years of bad memories and deep hurts that I kept hidden in myself. I had resolved that if I kept all of these memories of my past hurts, then I would remember NOT to allow new ones. These memories were my souvenirs of so many negative things. I kept them so I would not forget them. But, this action did not protect me. These bad memories, in fact, only allowed me more hurt. They were heavy and got in the way of my freedom to feel the GOOD things. There was no room for new experiences, no room for joy.

Finally, I had to address the enormous collection of mess inside of myself. It began to get in the way of my life. I was punishing others for sins they never committed against me. I was growing bitter.  I remained angry and eventually I became a victim of myself. 

These negative behaviors were so familiar to me that I could not imagine life without them. Letting go was the scariest thing I could do. What if I forgot my past and made the same mistakes again? How could I let go of the pain caused by others? If I forgot, then I would be vulnerable to them again!

I couldn’t let go because I had not FORGIVEN. I wasn’t hurting or punishing anyone but, myself.

There is a saying, “I will FORGIVE but, I will never FORGET”.

What a misconception! Forgiving IS forgetting. If you don’t forget, you have not SINCERELY forgiven. Forgiveness and forgetting is LETTING GO. The process of active remembering is where all of the pain lives. It grows old not just WITH you but TO you. It becomes a part of yourself. Letting go is a necessary progress. We can’t keep everything- forever. Choose wisely what it is that you hold close to you. Leave room for the GOOD stuff.

Missy © 2016

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you”.

Ephesians 4:31-32 NIV