Day 8 Unemployed
Last night was the songwriters showcase at MGP. I almost
didn’t go because of my transportation issues. But, I prayed and the Lord made
a way. I am so glad I went. It felt so good to be recognized as a songwriter by
my peers. I don’t know why this means so much to me. I guess when you write as
much as I do, it is human nature to wonder if you are spending all of this time
on nothing. Haha!
But, I was blessed last night. Even financially! My tithe
came back to me 6 times! Sold a song- praise the Lord.
Today, I am writing and having the family over. I am so
blessed for this house that I love. Thank you, Jesus for the things I desire in
my heart being important to you.
Continue to lead me even on days where I am busier than
usual. I love you. Amen.
Day 9 Unemployed
I have always considered myself a fairly confident person.
It is still amazing how the enemy will work so hard to
afflict you with self doubt.
It always starts with the smallest negative thought and it
grows into a weed of self destruction. I notice I write a lot about weeds. One
day, I might write an entire book about them. No, there would not be any type
of gardening content.
It would be about the weeds that we water while we let the
flowers from the seeds we sow die of thirst. What have I watered today? WEEDS.
My “weeds” of self doubt. The Lord told me (Jeremiah 29:11)
he has plans for me to prosper. That is the seed
he gave me. It is my job to let it
grow.
Lord, thank you for the gift of discernment and wisdom on
some days and the knowledge of my lack of wisdom as well. You make everything
in perfect design. Forgive me for getting tangled up and not recognizing your
simplicity. Help me recognize the weeds daily. Amen.
Day 10 Unemployed
The more I focus on the Lord’s Will and seeking his voice, the
more abundant it becomes in my life. One thing I have learned in this journey
so far is that he does not always operate in big manifestations. Sometimes, it
is so small that it would be unrecognizable if you were not looking. I wonder
how many of these special moments I have lost because of not paying attention.
In the world, we are all trying to find ourselves. But, in our lack of faith,
we find an incorrect version of ourselves. The reason is because we will NEVER
find our purpose outside of our Lord. He has created us for reasons that are
not of this world. He is showing me
how much greater my purpose is than this city, this industry, these financial
goals and my own selfish gains. In the grandest of all plans he has my very
existence intended for HIS purposes, not mine. When I think about that, it over
shadows any fear and doubt. I know for TODAY I listened. I followed. I found a
genuine joy in watching my daughter and my students (current and former even)
perform. I am so blessed to see these incredible students grow; not just as
artists but, as people. Even despite the negativity they are surrounded with
sometimes. Some of them are totally unaware what great things they are called
to do. It isn’t my job to tell them this. It is just my job to prepare them.
This job is an honor.
Thank you Lord that you have given me insight for these
talented people. Thank you for the gifts they have been given. Please direct my
words and suggestions according to what you desire for them. Help those that
have lost the fire you gave them to be re-lit and find joy in their gift. Help
them to rise above the snickers, the defeats, the enemies at their gates and
seek counsel in you. Give them vision to see themselves as YOU see them and not
as others do. May their confidence turn in them directing them to your path.
Amen.
Day- Ummm.? Don’t
really know
These last few days have been a real blur. We have been
going non-stop with the Mid South Fair Youth Talent Show. Everyday I have still
started my day in prayer and devotion. I have seen the Lord do some pretty
amazing things though my faith. Simple things I have needed and asked for-
really just necessities that I have seen no way possible- but he made a way.
Then, the fair.
I have battled every demon in hell at times. When you work
with these students, you become so invested in their life. You know them and
when they worry, you worry.
Watching the high’s and low’s of this fair season has made
me even more grateful and confident in what I am doing. These incredibly talented
students put so much into this one time of year. They have no idea what I see
in them and how TRULY AMAZING THEY ARE, they have no definition of that yet. I
try to let them see themselves through my eyes and when they finally do it is
that confirmation that keeps me going.
One of my students overcame fear, criticism and general hate
and despite of all that- made it to the finals with her original song. This was
a big win for the small group of young singer/songwriters with this bold and
successful move.
Another battling her own warfare and still rising above the
mess and achieving her moment. She didn’t “win” either but, she did.
I look at these kids that have won past talent competitions
before and think “NOW what”?
They will never really explore themselves as the truly great
and solid artists they are. Most will never go where they need to or pursue
their dreams.
The sad part is a lot are
so much closer than they think. THESE are the reasons I can’t stop doing this
yet. The Lord called me to feel this way!....to see this vision. I will trust
him until my eyes do not see it anymore or until he leads me elsewhere.
Lord, thank you for the great gifts I see these young adults
have. Thank you for the opportunity to make a difference. Please close the
mouths of those who have only ill intent and allow the enemy to use them as a
vessel to keep these kids from your great and mighty plan. Help me to speak
words you want them to hear. Help me to guide them where you want them. Fill
their hearts with desire for your will and confidence to trust you. You are
bigger to me everyday lately. I am so thankful for your discernment. I love you
with my whole heart!
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